Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
