Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
