I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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