Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
