Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
