Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
