you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
