I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize