I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
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She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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