Are we in a gay sports bar?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I have fence marks all over my body
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