Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
