You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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