Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
