i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
They are going to name an STD after you.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
