She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
