So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
