Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
