well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
