I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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