why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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