So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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