It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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