Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
