Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
