Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize