i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
