I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When are your genitals available?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
