Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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