He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
