I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
