Need sex. Gaining weight.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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