Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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