he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
