Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
