You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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