My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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