What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
