Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
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We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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