God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize