Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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