An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize