just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
