there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
