So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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