you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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