He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
