She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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