it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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