Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
