I think im going to throw up on grandma
it hurts more in the daytime
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i need some magic done to my vagina
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
