never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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