I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
