If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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