I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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