My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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