I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
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Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
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Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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