I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
