I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
love makes seman taste better
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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