he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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