Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Can't talk, ducks in the car
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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