I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize