I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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