I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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