just come out here and I will go home with you...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
