we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
this is an emotional support booty call
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
