It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
